The Walks We Take
by AngelLucifel
Summary: Three oneshots. A romance about Jiraiya and Orochimaru, about how jiraiya tries to stand by Ororchimaru's side and how their relationship grows through the many walks they take. The first two are Jiraiya's POV and the last is Oro's. I DON'T OWN NARUTO! R
1. Walking Together

Walking Together

It was the end of the first day of training, and I was wiped and dying to get home and sleep as fast as possible. I threw my equipment hurriedly into my sack as Sarutobi-sensei gave us one last talk about teamwork and that kind of sentimental stuff. By the time he was finished, so was I, and I muttered a _completely _heart-felt thanks and started off without trying to seem too eager…and then I noticed that the creepy, pale kid, Orochimaru, was walking in the same direction. Not comfortable with him behind me I reluctantly slowed my pace, and as if he wasn't even aware of it he walked right past, without so much as throwing a glance my way.

_Stuck up jerk…_Was my only thought on the matter. He bugged me, but not enough to really get me wound up.

I hung back as I followed him down the road home, mentally prodding him to hurry up and get off my path, with every step wondering how long I would have to watch his back. Finally, only two freaking blocks from home, he turned down a side street and went on his own way. I passed that street as fast as I could and sprinted on my sore legs the short rest of the way to my apartment where I promptly fell to my futon and went to sleep.

The next day I actually hung around after training, making up some questions to ask Sarutobi-sensei so I wouldn't have to walk home near Orochimaru. I waited about half an hour, and then I interjected right into Sarutobi-sensei's explanation for my last question (I didn't mean to, I was just paying so little attention I didn't notice) thanking him and then I darted off.

As much as I wanted to get home quickly after practice, it seemed like the best and only way. So, everyday, that's what I did. I made up some half-assed excuse to stick around for an extra fifteen minutes or so and then would go home, and never once had to see Orochimaru during the walk home. It was worth it. He never really said anything, never laughed when I made a joke, or even when Sarutobi made one during his better moods (and his were actually _funny_), and he never looked interested in anything. He was just…creepy.

So, that's how I did things for the first six weeks or so of training, and it worked great…until Tsunade figured me out. It was one of my lazier reasons, I just spent a long time picking crap up, said I felt like hanging around for a bit before heading home, I wasn't really that creative. Anyway, as I lazed around on my ass, sitting by the river and staring up at the sun-set tinted clouds, suddenly my view was obscured by a great shadow—which turned out to be Tsunade's head…which I only figured out after colliding with it after I sat up a little too quickly. What can I say? I was easily startled.

"Oww!" She yelped, holding her nose. "Damn Jiraiya, that hurt."

"Sorry." I muttered, rubbing my forehead. "What do you want Tsu?"

Tsunade then gave a cocky grin and I knew something was up. I scowled and waited for some customary declaration of knowledge of my personal life or some threat in order to get me to do something that I had become used to associating with that grin on girls' faces.

"How come you always hang around after training?" She asked her voice already in that mocking sing-song tone girls just _love _using.

"I dunno." I muttered, shrugging. "I just like taking my time I guess."

"Uh-huh." She said, smirking. "I know you better than that Jiraiya. And I know why you don't go home right away."

"Oh yeah?" I said, trying to sound like I didn't care.

"Yeah. I know Orochimaru lives only a little bit away from you. You guys would probably have to walk home together." Her smirk widened. "You're _afraid _to walk home with Orochimaru aren't you?"

"What?" I said. "Hell no."

"Yeah right you big pussy." I scowled. "I know that's why you do it. There's no other reason why you would."

"I'm not a pussy!" I insisted, turning shades of red. "And I'm sure as hell not afraid of that creep."

"Oh yeah? Then how come you always avoid him in training? How come you always hated when you two were made partners in practice? He freaks you out and you're too scared to walk home with him."

"That's not true!"

"Ok, whatever Jiraiya." She laughed as she stood up and headed out. "But you know the truth, and you know I'm right!"

Damn, nosy stuck-up girls. What was the worst was that she _was _right. I _hate _it when they're right.

As much as I didn't want to walk home with Orochimaru, my pride required more maintenance than my nerves, and the next day I left without hesitation, walking behind Orochimaru…and I could just _feel _that damn girl's smirk following me.

So, yeah, I walked behind him, a good several meters, and he never once looked back or seemed to notice my presence. Didn't give a care about anything, and it was almost like the world didn't give a care about him. He was…detached…somehow.

Sunset became my least favorite time of day, because I spent every one watching Orochimaru's back, as he walked as if not fatigued by training at all, all the way to the street where he broke off from my path and I would relax and sprint the rest of the way home.

It went like this through winter. We never spoke except when necessary and the walks home became so natural I didn't really think about them. I still felt awkward, walking all that way only a dozen feet or so behind him and we never even acknowledged each other, but it just kind of…was. Then, one snowy evening, as I, soaking wet from multiple falls into the fresh, thick layer of clod, white fluff that covered everything now, stayed behind after training again for the first time in several months. This time, it wasn't even my idea.

As I started heading out Sarutobi-sensei grabbed my shoulder and asked me to come talk with him. Of course, he had to pick that day of all days. The one day when I really needed to get home…freezing my ass off in that ridiculous weather. And, of course, being Sarutobi, he didn't even talk right away. No, he always had to _think _before he said anything. I made a small note then that I never wanted to take so long to say anything. No one would be around to listen by the time I did, unless, like Sarutobi-sensei, I became a teacher and had people _obliged _to listen to me. God forbid that would ever happen.

"Jiraiya-kun," He finally said. "Why don't you and Tsunade-chan ever talk with Orochimaru-kun?"

"Uh, because he doesn't _talk, _sensei." I said, trying not to sound disrespectful, even though I was fully aware everything I said seemed to come out sarcastic.

But he merely mulled over my words a moment and then said: "Perhaps because he is never spoken to?"

"No, I really think he just doesn't like anyone." I replied. "He's too far ahead for us, I'm sure." I said bitterly.

Sarutobi-sensei sighed. "Jiraiya-kun, you can't make a team if one of you is always walking ahead. You must stand side-by-side, in order to see the same perspective."

"What about watching each other's backs?" I said, always having to be a difficult bastard, and I knew the teachers hated me for it. Of course, Sarutobi-sensei always had something ready to snap back; which is what made me think he didn't really need all that time before he started these conversations.

"You'll find, Jiraiya-kun," He said, all sage-like as he did. "That is even easier to watch someone's back from their side."

"It's hard to get to the side of someone who always jumps to the front."

"I don't think Orochimaru-kun does such a thing. It seems to me like you always put him there."

Sarutobi-sensei then folded his hands behind his back and started out at the half-frozen lake, at the inner-thoughtfulness that had taken over his expression told me he was done talking to me, and I bowed my ever so deep respect and then hurried off. I was_ cold, _that's all I cared about, and I wanted to get home and get warm.

Of course, I didn't really think about what Sarutobi had said for a long time…or at all. Instead, it floated around in my admittedly spacey head keeping the other un-used pieces of advice company. I often felt bad for Sarutobi. Orochimaru always seemed to think whatever he thought was better than Sarutobi's teachings, and Tsunade and I just plain didn't listen, we had to have been the worst students ever.

So, more months went by. I still walked behind Orochimaru every evening except the rare ones where we had a break from training. The _very _rare days.

Every sunset, I watched his back. Long black hair flowing down to his narrow shoulders, sometimes I'd feel pathetic for being so nervous about him. I started catching myself really watching him. Not just in the usually impatient way trying to get him to move out of my way faster, but just getting distracted in the way he walked…the way his hair fluttered a little every time the wind blew by…the way the sunset would catch the glint of his yellow eyes when he turned down the street that took him away from me. And I didn't even realize how entranced I had become. I didn't even realize that every day I was walking one step closer to him. Every now and then I would recognize what I was doing and then I slowed myself down until he was far ahead again, and I'd hide my blush as best I could, even though no one was ever looking.

It was another month later, making it mid-spring, and we returned from a rather…unsuccessful mission. Things went badly…and pretty much all over the place. It was the first time I ever saw Sarutobi truly livid. I wasn't sure exactly what had gone wrong, but I knew that it was mostly because Tsunade and I collided head-on while pursuing the same target, and Orochimaru going off and making his own plan because he noticed things we didn't, and then when I did notice…well, I'll go ahead and stop. I'm sure you can see what a mess it was. The only thing sensei had to say was to me, and he said as he stormed past me, standing stock still for a moment and glowering down at me.

"I guess I should have known better than to think you'd actually understand what I had to say, Jiraiya." He scowled. "I'm very disappointed in you."

Then he left the three of us standing pathetically on the roadside, heads hanging in shame…or at least two of us were. Orochimaru just turned and walked home, unfazed, no desire to impress anyone. I had nothing better to do, so I went home too. Plus I didn't want to listen to Tsunade blame me for messing up the mission.

I finally started to think about what Sarutobi sensei had said that one day, and scowled at the ground as I walked along mechanically at a pace that would keep me behind Orochimaru. Slowly the reasoning behind Sarutobi's words sunk in, and finally after many months of trying to slip through my thick skull I understood some little bit of what he was trying to say. Clenching my jaw I decided that I was being stupid, just like Tsunade had said, there was no reason to be so skittish about waking home with Orochimaru. I could walk next to him, in front of him…anything. No problem. So why was I still a good dozen steps behind him? I scowled at my own feet and told them to walk faster…but they didn't. Why wouldn't my own damn body listen to me? Was I still so nervous around Orochimaru? Was I so pathetic I couldn't even get myself to approach his side? No. I refused to let that be the case. I had to do it. We'd never be a team, Sarutobi would never be proud of me…I had to.

I looked up determinedly and quickened my pace…and then realized Orochimaru was already halfway down his street. Sighing and hanging my head again I shuffled the rest of the way home.

I didn't convince myself to try and walk beside him again for a long while after that. It seemed so futile, and pointless. Even if I did walk next to him he wouldn't acknowledge me…so what was the point? I was stuck watching his back for the rest of our time as team…God, I felt pathetic…but…it was more than that, somehow. Somewhere in all my fearing and trying to stand with him for the team, my fear had turned to admiration, sparking a pure and simple desire to stand beside him, team or no. Not that I admitted that to myself.

It was the beginning of summer now, and the sunset was truly a glorious one. And as many awkward times as sunset had brought me before, I found myself unable to help but admire how nice it was. The whole sky was deep, deep, gold, the entire scene in front of me colored by some heavenly paint. I was so distracted by it I didn't even notice for several moments after Orochimaru had stopped walking, and I almost ran right into him. When I finally noticed I yelped in surprise and scrambled back a few steps, watching Orochimaru warily.

"I'm tired of you walking behind me every time I go home." He said, not even turning around.

"This is the quickest route." I muttered, trying to sound lazy about it.

Then he turned slightly, so that he was almost facing me, and his eyes, more deep and golden than the sunset behind him looked at me gently as he extended one slim, pale hand towards me.

"Then walk beside me."

I stared at him for several seconds, blinking away my shock and confusion, and then finally I pulled a grin and ran the few steps forward, knocking his hand away with a friendly slap.

_That's it then. _I thought as I fell into pace with him, and he looked away again, the faintest dusting of a smile on his face.

_We'll walk together from now on._

**K, this is my Oro/Jira fic. Thank my sister Kohaku Kawa for it. She got me hooked on the pairing. I don't think it's one of my best. But I think it's cute. Please review!!**


	2. Walking Away

Walking Away

Years passed. We became Chunin within the first, and were both well on our way to being jonin. Orochimaru and I still walked home together everyday.

Orochimaru and I were…friends, I guess. He still didn't talk much, though more than before, and never gave me so much as a wave goodbye when our paths separated. But, when I asked him a question he'd usually answer, he waited for me to walk home, and if I caught his arm and told him goodbye as he started to walk away from me, he'd smile—a little, at least—and nod. With most people it was the way you treated people you don't like very much, with Orochimaru I had learned it meant he actually liked me. …At least I thought so. I never could pin down how he was feeling for sure, not even if he liked a meal or something. But still, and maybe it was just me hoping, I honestly believed Orochimaru enjoyed our walks home together. I sure did…

Somewhere along the line I started liking them more than I realized. Even walking right by his side, I kept watching him. His pale face, always looking sarcastic about something, captured me. As the two of us had matured he became more strong and lovely, and I became more aware of it. My maturing process consisted of becoming more brash, more loud and obnoxious, more powerful, and also more idiotic so I kept thinking my strength alone would get me out of the messes I got myself into. Usually Orochimaru pulled me out of them, while Tsunade looked on and laughed at my stupidity.

Maybe it was because he was so damn girly, maybe it was because Tsunade had scared me off of her type for good, but after a while I came to grips with the idea that what had started as fear and turned to admiration had become…affection. Believe you me, it took me a damn long time to actually acknowledge and be ok with this fact. But when every time I saw him I was looking for an excuse to stand a little closer to him, every time his hair fluttered in the wind my heart skipped a beat, everytime those piercing yellow eyes stared at me with all their depth and beauty my mouth stopped making coherent sentences…I really didn't have any choice but to realize what had happened to me.

So by the time we were jonin I had become a love-struck mess. Even as he grew more reclusive, we still walked home together whenever the opportunity arose, and every evening that happened I went to bed feeling a little better about the day. I hated that I felt that way about him, that with a single look he could make me melt like butter, I hated everything he did to me but I loved him. Remembering the way my own immature stupidity had kept me away from his side before, I became determined to be the one to initiate this. Even though he probably had no interest in me, I wanted to admit my feelings before he figured it out on his own. But then, I didn't want to just tell him. I knew my faults, and one of them was being a clumsy, blunt idiot. I needed to tell him romantically, some way that would actually make him consider me…and as much as I hated to, I decided to consult Tsunade about it.

"Ok, so, why am I here?" She asked, sitting down next to me at the bar.

"I…need your advice." I said embarrassedly. "See, there's this person I like and I want to tell them but I also don't want be an idiot about so…I mean…what should I do?"

"Oh please, Jiraiya, I'm no romance expert."

"Yeah but, you're a girl…"

"Not all girls are alike."

I blushed worse. "That's not the point. You've still got a better head for smart romance than I do. Come on, Tsunade, what's something romantic I can do?"

Tsunade sighed. "A lot of girls like classic romance. Get her some flowers and take her to dinner, and be real sweet about it."

"Well, y'see…the thing is…I'm not sure if they're the same…um, I mean…"

Tsunade glared at me in frustration for a moment, and then her face lit up in that horrible 'aha!' way.

"You're not after a girl at all are you?" She said, far too loud for my liking.

"Shh! Tsunade! Keep it down!"

"Oh-ho. This is too great...damn, I don't know how to woo a man."

"Tsunade _please _you must have some idea…"

"Dammit, Jiraiya, just kiss him or something. You may think it's dumb of you, but your straight-forwardness if one of the only endearing things about you."

"Just kiss him huh…"

It was actually a good idea. I wasn't good with words, so why bother trying to use them? He'd probably get pissed, probably call me an idiot and stalk off, but it was the best way to tell him how I felt. It was the most solid plan I had, and I even had someone's approval. I had to do it. I would do it…but my conviction faltered when I saw him the next day at sunset.

"Wanna head out?" I asked, and he nodded wordlessly.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye; he seemed ridiculously beautiful today, as if just to make my job harder. But I was determined, even with my stomach doing an acrobatic routine and my mouth drier than Suna's air. I made the usual small talk, and he gave me his usual short answers, and inside I was going crazy trying to imagine how it might play out, just a few seconds from now, before Orochimaru left. Then, we got to the cross-roads where he was supposed to leave. He turned down his street, but I called for him to wait and he turned back to me curiously.

"I..." I started to step forward, "…Um, see you tomorrow."

I winced and slapped a hand over my forehead in horror at my own stupidity, as I heard his feet scuff the sidewalk, walking home…I knew I should have called to him one more time, and I wanted to…what if it was my only chance? I was about to look up again, about to try one more time, but suddenly, before I could even open my eyes, I felt him kissing me. I was so shocked I couldn't even kiss him back. The slight pressure of his hands on my shoulders alone was enough to make me go weak. The kiss itself was so gentle, so soft I barely believed he was really kissing me, but the longing that the absence of it left me with was more than enough to let me know how very real it had been.

"Ja mata, Jiraiya." He said softly, his mouth still close enough that his breath brushed my lips.

I opened my eyes finally, questions and more poised ready in my mouth but he was already far down his path, and all I could to was watch his back as he walked away. I finally unstuck my legs as the sky grew darker, and I started home. He had kissed me, I should have been ecstatic, but, remembering the kiss, his remark of 'see you later', the way I couldn't help but stare at his back as he walked away, everything about made it feel like a good bye.

The next time I saw Orochimaru, we were no longer friends, after a few heart-breaking moments we became enemies, leaving me dazed, hurt and confused. Now as I spend my days as stupidly and childishly as if I had never grown up, every day when I walk home I can't help but think about the days when I used to walk beside him, and I find myself asking quietly 'why?' But my only answer is the echo of his goodbye and the memory of him walking away…


	3. The Last Walk

The Last Walk

The smell of purgatory is intense, as I travel down this dark stairway. Thick and dank, like a wet fire. I figured out I was dead many hundreds of steps back. I don't know how deep I'll have to go before I hit Hell, but I keep walking, and thinking. My head has cleared so much as I take this walk, I understand more of what my life was. I was a terror, a monster, my life was devoted to things that now I can't even stomach the horror of, but despite all this there is one thing that I regret most.

I remember the day I walked away form Jiraiya, how I had been sensing for a while how strong his feelings for me had become. I had plans though, plans I couldn't let him get in the way of, no matter how I felt. And oh yes, I felt for him too. I had felt for him since the day I asked him to walk beside me. But things were falling into place, it was almost time for it all to unfold, and I realized as he went on in his awkward way that this was likely to be out last walk together. Despite all the hardening my heart had done the past few years, I felt a small pang at that. No matter what else I said, no matter how I could throw away my life to this point, I knew I would miss the walks we took together. So, when we reached the crossroads, I hesitated for just a moment, and then went on my way…but he called my name, and, my heart racing I turned back towards him. He looked so nervous and hesitant, and I begged him silently to come out and say it, so I could hear it one time before I left, but he told me to go on my way, and covered his face in embarrassment. I paused, watching him blush brighter than the sunset, white hair catching the ruby glow, and I couldn't help myself. I took a step forward, placed my hands on his shoulders and tilted back my head to kiss him. I made it last as long as possible without ruining the moment, and then I pulled away. I hesitated for a moment, an inch away from his lips. For one brief second, I considered staying, I thought that perhaps I could just stay with him and everything would be fine but my mind strayed down that path for only a brief second, and all that was left was to say goodbye. It broke what I still retained of my heart to say it, and so, I left the pieces with Jiraiya and turned away.

I suppose dying returned those shattered fragments to me, and as they sewed themselves back into their lop-sided shape I felt every ounce of pain and regret that at the time I had managed to keep from feeling. It was incredibly hard to be dead. I had started remembering nothing, and then slowly my life returned to me, but from the eyes of a child that saw only the evil of what I had done, all my ambition and goals proved to be worth nothing now.

My last memory is the foggiest, for I was so blinded by a rush of emotion. I know Jiraiya killed me; he finished it off with tears in his eyes. I felt a horrible flash of sadness at that, I wanted to hold him and tell him it was all right for him to be doing what he did…but now I can never hold him or walk beside him again.

Now I walk down this stairway, wondering if it will ever end, and when it does where it will lead to, and I reflect on my life, or lack thereof, for that is all there is for me to do. So I walk my path, and am forced to replay my life many times over, each time seeing clearer the horrors I have committed and the stupidity of my mistakes. I walk and walk, perhaps for hours, days, or years, but I can tell only that I walk for a long time. Just as I think I am going to collapse, just as I feel I can take the revulsion of my own life no longer there is an opening before me. The light coming through it is dim and gray but I run to it, starving for its light. As I stumble towards it, I see the shadowy cut of a figure before me, and I pause, squinting so my eyes can adjust to the light. At first I wonder if the figure is some demon come to bring me to hell, but I soon realize this figure is familiar…a figure that has graced my fondest and last memories…my eyes swell with tears as I stop a mere foot before Jiraiya.

My mouth opens, but it takes me many long moments to remember how to form words under his gentle gaze.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I followed you." He replies.

"Why…? You don't need to be here…"

And he extends his hand towards me, a small smile on his face. "Because I want to walk beside you."

The tears fall, and fade as I place my hand in his, and he pulls me out of this dark tunnel of memory and solitude, and into this second leg of my journey. I have faced my sins and now must atone for them; I know that this will take a long and trying time but I have Jiraiya to support me through it, as we take our last walk together through redemption.

**Fin**


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